ohioangel

Im soooooo tired, I need sleep..I don't know what's wrong this time, but I've had approximately 4 hours sleep since thursday. I don't have anything particular on my mind (thats not really true) , and I'm not stressing anything too much(riiiight), not even the home issues..
I just lay there and toss and turn..There is one thing that keeps coming to mind, and when it does , I get this knot in my belly, and I get anxious and I HAVE to get up and walk, and then I can't relax again..I'm not going into what that is, or who it is about.
I have been having some really wonderful conversations with someone , that have helped me to relax and detach from all the "personal" stuff going on. It has helped me to put someone out of my mind, and has been so good for my self preservation. It's been a wonderful distraction and more importantly, has given me something else to look forward to.
I was so used to spending my nights chatting with someone in particular and I seem to be having issue with getting back on some sort of "normal" routine. Not that I ever had one..but I truly miss those nights and talking to him!! Maybe that's what it is..Having that taken from Me without notice, has been really hard to handle. Ugh, there goes that knot in my stomach..THATS what it is.. grrrrr
Anyway, back to more house work and using the treadmill..Amazingly even though I'm so tired, I have had this weird amount of energy, and have been going non stop doing this or that..You know, I am so going to crash and burn soon...hehe

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
Theres pictures of you and I all around me
The way that it was and should have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.

Would it help if i turned a sad song on
"All by Myself" would sure hit me hard, now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

Cause I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let it fall like rain, from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.


This isnt something I am feeling right now..Just something that moved Me...